Jim's Note: One of several songs I've written dealing with abuse of one type or another. Madeleine and The Devil is another.

Bitter Tears
© 1999, Jim Lesses. All Rights Reserved.

If only I tried harder. If only food were hot.
If only I were perfect I could fix things on the spot.
If only I were worthy. If only I cared more.
If only things were cleaner, I could stop his angry roar.

If only I were happy. If only tables set.
If only kids were older I could go without regret.
If only I were careful. If only just this once.
If only I were tougher then I would not feel his punch.

CHORUS

I remember his caresses, I remember better days,
I remember all his pledges to give up his troubled ways.
I remember sharing laughter, I remember calming fears,
I remember, I remember living with my bitter tears.

If only I were better. If only I were smart.
If only I could find a way to melt his frozen heart.
If only I were thinner. If only I were quick.
If only I could hide the bruising from his vicious kick.

If only I were dreaming. If only I could smile.
If only I could find a way to leave him for a while.
If only I were stronger. If only I could see.
If only I stopped loving him perhaps I could be free.

I remember his caresses, I remember better days,
I remember all his pledges to give up his troubled ways.
I remember sharing laughter, I remember calming fears,
I remember, I remember living with my bitter tears.

I remember his sweet kisses, I remember all his charms,
I remember how he whispered, I could crush you in my arms.
I remember every promise, I remember all the lies,
I remember, I remember that dark monster in his eyes.

I remember sharing laughter, I remember calming fears,
I remember, I remember living with my bitter tears.

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